This website is entirely written by Greg Michaels, humorist and former stand-up comic.
I am a big fan of cowboy poetry, a fun way o’ tellin’ stories. But I’ve always been a city slicker, and I currently reside in the Land o’ Cleves on old Lake Erie shore. So I take Urban Legends, modern folk tales, and retell them cowpoke style. I also enjoy performing these stories in local venues.
My goal is to publish an illustrated book for wide circulation, to be placed on the ‘humor’ shelf next to other books on Urban legends. Please read my Legends and, if you like them, tell all your friends. A good response from readers will help me get published.
In which I ask permission of real cowboy poets to borry their art form
First off, I apologize to all the cowboy rhymers
I admire all the lies, an’ truths, told by old-timers.
Prepost’rous tales a-set to rhyme, the bull can’t get no thicker
What nerve have I to take yer time – me a city slicker?
Cowboys’re always workin’ hard, ridin’ horses, ropin’ dogies
While city folk just mow their yard, or drink gin an’ shoot bogeys
I know next to nothin’ ’bout ridin’ on the range
Me an’ my poems buttin’ in on you just might seem strange
But I love how you romanticize ranch days and all their glories
I jus’ kinda idolize yer way o’ tellin’ stories.
Don’t know ’bout cattle punchin’ an I never shot no gun
But yer poetry is catchin’; why should you have all the fun?
You can keep yer heart-felt odes; mine would be so borin’
I like yarns in tall-tale mode, bodacious an’ rip-roarin’
Forgive me, cattle callers, ropers, fast-guns I’m offendin’
But tales don’t come no taller than the ones called Urban Legends.
Stories you almost believe inspired by some weird factoid
Tales anonymously conceived that show up in the tabloids
’bout undeserved but funny fates that come to good-deed doers
or death by poop, explodin’ pates an’ gators in the sewers.
I read some on the internet an’ then I did some tweakin’
Good stories get much better yet in the cowpoke way o’ speakin’
I write these in my kitchen while you’re out where buffalo roam
Please, set a spell an’ listen to my Urban Cowboy Poems.