Eatin’ Crow

When this land was greatly depressed an’ soup lines were drawin’ herds
the State o’ Washington, in its wisdom, decided to track wild birds
Whilst the average Joe could not recall when was the last time he ate
the Washington Biological Survey sought to study how crows migrate

Citizens who found a bird were advised to forget their strife
and notify the state division of Fish and Wildlife
They wanted to know how long birds live, where they fly and what they eat,
so they strapped metal ID bracelets around their little feet

They referenced the survey on the tags, they thought that was important
But the name was too long to fit on a band; they had to shorten it.
They used four-letter abbreviations but it seems one was misspelled
‘Wash.’ and ‘Surv.’ were transcribed alright, but in the middle was ‘B-O-I-L’

Campers and hunters were shootin’ these birds and readin’ their little labels
They thought they’d found a whole new source of vittles for their tables
Farmers’ crops were dwindlin’ and their waistlines gettin’ thinner
Were the crows they caught stealing corn really good to cook for dinner?

Angry letters to the state began “You’ve got some nerve
tellin’ hungry folks who catch a bird to wash, boil, and serve
We shot a couple ravens and crows; their feathers were hard to pluck
We followed your label and tasted them. Well I’l tell you, THEY SUCK!”

You also tagged some larger birds, we caught them in a trap
but bald eagle made us puke, and buzzards taste like crap
I’ll shove them down yer bureaucratic throats, like you deserve
For tellin’ a starvin’ populace to wash, boil, and serve”

©August 1, 2017