Fire Divin’

On a hot day in the summer Charlie did what he loved most –
he went scuba divin’ off the California coast
No better way to keep cool than explorin’ in the water
What Charlie didn’t know is that his day would get much hotter

While he was huntin’ clams an’ stuff an’ flipperin’ around
from above the surf he heard a ‘woopa woopa’ sound
Charlie got to wonderin’ jes’ what that could be
when a round metallic vessel starts submergin’ in the sea

He found hisself bein’ pulled aboard by some powerful suction
What the heck was goin’ on? A alien abduction?
Was Charlie bein’ hijacked to some aqueous moon of Jupiter
by flippered bein’s who think that he’s jes’ like them, only stupider?

While Charlie was out there swimmin’ ’round and playing scuba games
a hunnerd square miles o’ forest land was goin’ up in flames
The U.S. Forest Service had done set its plan in motion
They sent a fleet o’ aircraft to scoop water from th’ ocean

T’weren’t a flyin’ saucer, jes’ a Forest Service chopper
carryin’ seawater, fishes, crabs, and Charlie in its hopper
One minute Charlie’s in the sea, then in the wild blue yonder
Next thing he knows he’s fightin’ fires – he’s become a first responder

When the pilot dumped his bucket on the patch he aimed to soak
Charlie landed in the branches of a “blackened” red oak
He dived equipped with tank and mask, flippers and wetsuit
but he forgot to take along a fireproof parachute.

Later when the rangers surveyed damage they could see
They spied a curious crispy critter hangin’ in a tree
“Is that a bear a way up there?” one ranger had to ask
“Not unless a bear would wear two flippers an’ a mask”

California firemen’s wives were so proud of their spouses
who fought to save the pot farms and the million-dollar houses
If you’d asked ol’ Charlie’s wife she’d a’said the chance was zero
that her scuba divin’ hubby would turn out to be a hero

When they ID’d Charlie his wife cried but her head couln’t be held higher
He was credited with extinguishing two square yards o’ fire
Fate’s a bitch, when a man goes divin’ lookin’ for adventures
an’ winds up burnt so bad he must be ID’d by his dentures

© Sept 1, 2015


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